What Empowered Parenting Isn’t
This is not permissive parenting, our children need us to be empowered not powerless. Children need our benevolent leadership and values based boundaries in order to feel safe.
This is not behaviour modification. Behaviourism (punishment and reward) sends toxic messages to children about their self worth. Shame paralyses children. In Empowered conscious parenting we parent through relationship and the belief we are all inherently worthy just as we are. Life and experience are the best teachers and we get curious with our children as to why the behaviour occurred so that they can truly learn and grow from the experience.
This is not authoritative parenting. Authoritative parenting (whilst certainly better than Authoritarian parenting/ laissez faire parenting) misses out on some key ingredients, firstly that of secure attachment. In secure attachment we work with the child in collaboration and curiosity not in distance or control over them. Behaviour becomes better when children feel safe, understood and soothed. Secondly it misses out on attunement. Attunement is being in such deep connection with your child that you can speculate what might be going on for them and what they might need. It is about connection above all.
The main ingredient of empowered parenting is the parent working on their own self regulation so they can use the tools from gentle parenting, conscious parenting and positive parenting from a place of sturdy calm responsiveness (Not just reacting)
