Transitions can be some of the most challenging moments in family life—moving from play to mealtime, getting out the door, settling down for bed. These shifts ask children to pause something they love and step into something they must do, and that can bring resistance.

Put simply, our kids' priorities are not the same as our priorities and that is the biggest challenge to cooperation. Our kids need play and we need progress.

But what if these tricky moments didn’t need more pressure, louder voices, or tighter control? What if they simply needed more play?

Now I know what some of you are thinking. Play exhausts you. That makes sense; it's really hard to play if you are activated in your nervous system. Rather than thinking you have to do an hour of play with your kid in order to connect with them (which might sound daunting) we can ask, how could I bring a more playful, jolly attitude into my interactions. Adults brains are not going to be excited by hours of imaginative play but having a playful jolly attitude to parenting can, if practiced, become a way of being.

Below are playful, connection-building strategies that help ease transitions while keeping everyone regulated, engaged, and even entertained.

Emily Hughes Conscious Parenting Coach — Being playful with your kids as a way of life

1. Ask Only Questions

If you’re prone to repeating yourself or slipping into nagging mode, this strategy can be surprisingly effective. Commit to giving instructions only in the form of questions:

“What time is it?”
“What do we normally do at this time?”
“Why are we still downstairs?”
“What do we need to do next?”

Why it works:
Questions invite children to think for themselves. When kids are thinking, they feel autonomous rather than controlled. Plus, asking questions engages your prefrontal cortex—the logic centre of your brain—which helps keep you calm and grounded.

2. Freeze… Suddenly

Stop what you’re doing and freeze in place. Stay frozen until your children notice. When they ask what you’re doing, whisper out of the corner of your mouth:

“I’m frozen… the only thing that can unfreeze me is if you start climbing the stairs.”

You become a puzzle to solve—and kids love puzzles.

3. Offer Challenges (Non-Competitive Ones)

Competition between siblings often leads to conflict, but collaborative challenges turn tasks into playful experiments. Let your children suggest ideas, or offer your own:

“Can you brush your teeth with your eyes closed?”
“Can you walk backwards to find your shoes?”
”Can you get dressed while keeping eye contact with me the whole time?”

The goal isn’t winning—it’s engagement.

4. Invite Collaboration

Shift the dynamic from doing something to your child to doing something with your child.

Instead of:
“Put your shoes on.”

Try:
“What if we put our shoes on at the same time?”
“How about we work as a team to get ready?”

Working together builds connection, not resistance.

5. Turn It Into a Song

Singing instructions can have magical effects:

It lightens the mood instantly.
It can playfully annoy your kids just enough that they hurry up—if only to get you to stop singing!

A silly tune can defuse tension faster than a lecture ever could.

6. Whisper Instead of Raising Your Voice

If you find yourself getting loud during transitions, try the opposite: whisper everything. Kids often quiet down automatically just to hear what you’re saying. Whispering shifts the emotional energy from chaotic to curious.

7. Get Things Wrong on Purpose

Announce instructions… incorrectly:

At breakfast time: “Okay, time to go back to bed!”

Your child will correct you, and you can respond with surprise:

“Oh! It’s not bedtime? You’d better show me what we are supposed to do!”

This engages their sense of competence and agency—two powerful motivators.

8. Make a Joke Out of Non-Compliance

When children don’t follow instructions, it’s easy to take it personally or react defensively. But most of the time, they’re not trying to upset you—their priorities are simply different from yours.

Humour can soften these moments.

If your child isn’t putting on their socks, pick up the sock and say:

“Oh, sweet sock… do you see that kid over there? That kid is not putting you on. How does that make you feel?”

It breaks the tension, preserves connection, and often gets results.

The Heart of These Strategies

At their core, these playful prompts:

+ reduce power struggles
+ increase connection
+ invite cooperation instead of demanding it
+ help you stay regulated
+ meet children where they naturally are—in a world of imagination and curiosity

When we accept that children prioritize play, we can use playfulness to guide them rather than fight against it.