Debunking A Common Worry: “My children won’t want to spend time with me when they are older”
I hear this phrase so much in my Parent Coaching Practice going to debunk this Core fear of so many parents
“I worry that my kids won’t want to be close to me when they are older”
Do you have that fear?
Lets break down some core reasons why your kids wouldn’t want to see you when they are older
They wont want to see you if they don’t feel accepted by you
Children need love we all know that but love is only half of the pie. If our children are not accepted for who they truly are then going to visit their parents will come with a side helping of dread and struggle.
If you don’t listen to them
It is unplesant to not be listened to. No body enjoys this. Yet so many parents struggle to deeply listen to their kids. our kids core needs are to be seen, heard and understood. Parents can find it especially hard to listen to their kids as to deeply listen without correcting takes a lot of courage and trust in the pathway of your childs life.
If they don’t feel safe around you
It’s the old addage they wont remember what you say but they will remember how you made them feel because this is not just refering to physical safety but emotional safety. It is safe for your kids to have emotions around you
If they feel like they need to do something in order to be worthy of your love because
It is exhausting to be seeking validation from your parents. Its a surefire way to suck the joy out of life. When a child grows up and realises that others do find them worthy just as they are, the parental home starts to feel a lot more complicated.
They wont want to see you if you are not emotionally intelligent enough to not be reactive
Emotionally immature people are triggering to be around. If your life is full of conflict thats a good clue your emotional intelligence is low.
If your kids feel like you don’t trust them
It’s incredibly hard to trust yourself if no one has given you oppertunity to be trusted or if you have been told/ implied that you are not trustworthy
So here is the good news what we have mapped out is a really clear map for your personal growth
Double down on acceptance working through blocks and barriers
Learn how to truly listen
Be a place of emotional safety not someone who is always trying to fix their kids problems
Let your kids experience deep belonging
Become so emotionally intelligent that your kids see you as a wise elder who they deeply trust
Trust your kids to be competent and capable and don’t let your worry make them not believe in themselves
Guess what, all of that thats what i help my clients do,. Sounds good? Check out my stuff
