5 Tips For Co-Parenting During A Divorce Guest Blog Post

Having to navigate the nuances of joint custody whilst simultaneously dealing with the

stresses that come with divorce is an incredibly challenging process. As a parent, we always

want what is best for our children, even if that means separating from your spouse.

Although divorce and separation are hard for children at any age, kids are resilient and

adaptable beings – more so than we give them credit for.

With that being said, there are many ways we can ease the transition so that children do not

get caught up in the mess of a divorce. In this blog, we share our top five tips for co-

parenting during a divorce. Let’s jump straight in…

1. Prioritise Communication & Collaboration

Effective communication from both parents is crucial when navigating co-parenting during a

divorce. Communication should be consistent, open and with the shared purpose of ensuring

your children’s wellbeing at all times.

Decisions regarding the health, wellbeing, disciplining and day-to-day activities of your

children should be made together where possible, as this will help you create a positive and

consistent co-parenting relationship based on teamwork and a joint goal. If necessary, co-

parenting coaching may be beneficial in helping you become the best possible co-parents.

In terms of how to communicate, it may be beneficial to have important discussions face-to-

face or over the phone, as emailing/texting can be easily misconstrued.

Although it can be frustrating when parenting separately, try to continue to respect your ex-

partners parenting style as you would have when you were together. Children can adapt to

the change and may even benefit from experiencing different styles of parenting.

2. Take Your Negative Feels Out Of The Equation

More often than not, the breakdown of a marriage involves a lot of negative feelings towards

each other. As difficult as it may be, any negative feelings such as hurt, anger, distrust or

resentment should be put to one side when it comes to co-parenting.

It is crucial that the wellbeing of your children is at the forefront of every decision you make.

Allowing your feelings to dictate your actions can lead to fractures in the co-parenting

relationship that will ultimately affect your child.

3. Don’t Force Your Children To Be “Stuck In The Middle”

Children are receptive little creatures that absorb far more of their surroundings than we

realise. To make the divorce process easier on your children, it is important to allow them to

have a positive relationship with both parties.

As a parent, it is your responsibility to try and nurture the relationship your child has with

their other parent, rather than tearing it down.

To prevent your child from feeling like they are stuck in the middle; of a bad situation, avoid

venting or complaining about your ex-partner in front of them. In addition, avoid placing

blame and try instead to present a united front.

4. Have A Plan In Place And Share It With Children

Having a co-parenting plan from the start will ease the transition whilst reducing the chance

of conflicts and misunderstandings. Both parents should collaborate to create a plan that

prioritises the wellbeing of the children. In some cases, this can be done with the help of a

Family Law Solicitor to offer guidance and ensure amicability.

A co-parenting plan will address things such as living arrangements, holidays and special

occasions (including Christmas and birthdays). Once a plan has been agreed upon, be sure

to communicate this openly to your children and aim to be as consistent as possible with the

plan.

Your children will cope much better with the divorce if they are aware of the plans, such as

who is picking them up from school, which days/nights they will spend with each parent and

where they will go during special occasions.

5. Ensure Both Homes Have The Essentials

It may seem like a simple thing, but having essentials for your children at both homes can

significantly reduce stress. Kids shouldn’t need to worry about whether they have the correct

PE kit, or if they’ve forgotten their pyjamas.

And they certainly shouldn’t have the added stress of carrying a bag of essentials from one

house to another. Instead, ensure each home has the necessary toiletries, clothing, toys and

school equipment that your kids need.

Written by https://waymanandlong.co.uk/services/family-law/ as a guest blog post.