Sibling jealousy is very normal but it can be one of the most emotionally challenging issues a parent faces. Watching your children, whom you love equally and unconditionally, compete for attention or express resentment toward one another is deeply painful. As a parent, you want each child to feel valued and secure, yet sibling jealousy can make one or both feel overlooked or unloved, no matter how hard you try to be fair. You likely had more than one child in the hopes that your child would have a deep sibling bond/ playmate so it can feel particulalry loaded if this is not the case.

Emily Hughes Conscious Parenting Coach — Sibling jealousy takes a toll

What makes it especially difficult is that jealousy isn’t always logical or easy to resolve. One child may feel threatened by a sibling’s attention, cuteness (if they are smaller) success, affection, or perceived privileges, even if these differences are small or unintentional. Attempts to reassure or "even things out" can backfire, reinforcing the idea that there is something to compete for.
Parents often feel guilt, frustration, or confusion—wondering what they did wrong or how to fix things. The emotional toll of constantly mediating conflicts, balancing needs, and protecting each child’s self-esteem can be overwhelming. Moreover, jealousy is rarely a one-time issue; it evolves with age, changing dynamics, and new challenges. Navigating this emotional minefield while trying to foster strong sibling bonds requires enormous patience, empathy, and emotional resilience—often when parents themselves are stretched thin.

Luckily there is a lot we can do to help a child struggiling with jealousy.

“Wish language” with jealousy

Wish language is empathy in action, it is when you indulge what the child wants but in a whimsical way for example

“You wish you could have mummy all to yourself and sit on my lap and snuggle all day is that right? How many hours would we snuggle for?”

“You wish that it could just be me and you is that right? What would we do if it was just me and you?”

“You wish that your sister wasn’t so little and didn't need so much care so that Daddy could just play with you is that right?”

Kids videos on Jealousy

Jealousy is a less obvious emotion whan anger or sadness so your child might need a little extra help to identify it. here are some videos/ books to watch with your child to discuss.

Let’s Talk About: Feeling Jealous

Lucille Gets Jealous by Julie Gassman | Teaching Children How To Deal With Jealousy | Read Aloud

Keisha the Kind in My Little Sister Situation Read Aloud by Reading Pioneers Academy

Way Past Jealous | Kids books read aloud | Books with Blue

Sesame Street: Jealous (Word on the Street Podcast)

Questions to ask after seeing the videos

How does jealousy feel in your body?
What does jealousy make you want to do?
When are you the most jealous?
When do you feel the least jealous?
What do you need when you are jealous?

Work With the Child to Come up with a “Jealousy Plan”

In order to act differently kids need “replacement behaviours” something they can do when they are feeling jealous. You can approach this playfully out of the moment

Once you have the Jealousy plan you will need to rehearse it through play. Here are some suggestions

“When I feel jealous I can…”