Which is Your Parenting Leadership Style?
Emily Hughes Conscious Parenting Coach
If you have followed me for a while you will know one of the things I often say is “Parenting is leadership” So let's deep dive into 8 Different Leadership Styles for the Workplace and how they can be applied to parenting. Which ones do you recognise yourself in? Which do you recognise your own parents in? Does the leadership style you are in serve you and your kids?
Democratic Leadership
Considers all the views and needs in the family
Positives- Everyone feels heard and respected. Belonging is strong in the family.
Negatives- Sometimes the parent needs to use their natural authority to make tough decisions for the long term good of all which might go against the short term needs of your kids. Not everything can be democratic. .
Autocratic Leadership
The parent is the boss, no one else gets a say. Children must obey
Positives- … Not many. This is trad parenting based in fear (sometimes called authoritarian parenting)
Negatives- The child feels disempowered and will either fight back, be sneaky, or fawn out of fear.
Laissez-Faire Leadership
Decisions are made by children with little input from parents
Positives- The child feels free
Negatives- There are plenty of negatives about laissez faire parenting. This is often the style of parenting we would think of as permissive. Children need boundaries because boundaries help a child feel safe. The child might feel like the parent doesn’t care. The child might become jaded or anxious.
Strategic Leadership
Decisions are made based on strategy and goals
Positives- This is a highly intentional thoughtful way of parenting
Negatives- This type of parenting requires time to plan and implement. Children may also throw curve balls to your plans so strategic leaders must learn to be flexible. Sometimes strategic leaders live in the head- logic/ order and control and miss opportunities to lead from the heart and intuition
Transactional Leadership
Children get rewarded for doing tasks
Positives- Stuff gets done around the house
Negatives- Transactional relationships often lead to a great deal of conflict and argument. As the child becomes older they might start to demand larger rewards. This style of parenting can lead to disconnection and entitlement.
Pace Setting Leadership
The parent is pushing for tasks to be completed promptly. This is often the style of leadership parents find themselves in in the mornings
Positives- Stuff gets done sometimes
Negatives- High conflict style of leadership often with threats/ nagging and stress. This is a very joyless style of parenting.
Coaching Leadership
The parent coaches the child into success through questions, problem solving and modelling
Positives- This style of parenting is awesome its what I teach on my 12 week course. It encourages good relationships between parent and child, children become good problem solvers and conflict resolvers.
Negatives- It requires emotional regulation on the part of the parent. You can’t coach your child if you are on fire inside
Servant Leadership
The Parent focuses all their efforts on the child’s growth
Positives- Children can feel nurtured and get their needs met
Negatives- This style of parenting can lead to martyrdom and burnt out if the parent is never prioritising their own needs.This type of leadership whilst well meaning can also stifle a child’s development if they are over helped and never allowed to healthily struggle.
Visionary Leadership
The parent has a clear vision for the child’s future success
Positive- The parent cares a lot and is highly motivated with clear plans and structures
Negatives- This type of leadership runs the risk that the child may not feel seen and understood for who they truly are. Children cannot be moulded only guided.
Which style of leadership did you relate to? Is it working for you?
