Taming The Morning Madness
How to get out of the house without losing your mind
This week I finished the last of my 4 instagram lives with @e17baby and this week’s one was on Taming the morning Madness you can watch the full live here.
Acceptance
It makes a huge amount of sense that the morning would potentially be the hardest time of day. In the live I talk about attachment voids- times when your children do not feel attached/ connected to you. It might be hard for us to comprehend but for a child, sleep can feel like an attachment void. They have been separated from you for 10 ish hours and then they are potentially about to be separated from you in another attachment void at nursery or school. Accepting that the mornings might be tough for your child might help you show up just that little bit more compassionately, they are not trying to make you late they are just trying to meet their needs for connection and play.
Are your kids sleepy/ grumpy/ hungry? You are not failing, the truth is some children (and Adults too!) just feel really wonky until about about 9 am.
Human beings are not hard wired for timeliness- Timeliness is a modern construct. Our distant ancestors did not have watches they would meet at vague times- sun rise/ sun set. Of course it’s important to train children to be timely but accepting that timeliness is not innate it's not something our children naturally possess.
Accepting that the mornings are hard for you too can also help you bring in a little self empathy.
If your children are not great sleepers either, the mornings can feel like an onslaught where you have had no time to get even your very basics of needs met such as drinking water/ eating/ going for a wee.
Ideally we would all be waking up 1 hour earlier than our children, dressing, washing and exercising or meditating before our kids wake up but for some of you waking up an hour before your kids might mean waking up at 4 am which is clearly not an option. If you are able to meet your needs before your kids wake up fantastic keep at it. If that sounds really far away for you then that’s ok we can give ourselves that little bit of kindness; that could be us in the future, right now its not. Accepting what is without guilt or shame.
Letting go of Comparison
Who are you comparing yourself to? Are you imagining that everyone else finds the mornings easy breezy. Truth bomb they don’t so let's stop splurging our energy, fear and shame out on these imaginary people.
Emotional Scooping
Can you meet your children's needs for connection in a really intentional way by “scooping them” when they first wake up to meet their needs for love and attention. Watch this clip from the live where I explain scooping
Prep and Delegation
What can you prep the night before? Can you lay the clothes out? Fill up the water bottles? If you have a co-parent have you clearly outlined together who is responsible for what in the morning? If your child is older, have you had a conversation out of the moment on where their responsibilities lie in the morning?
Systems and routines charts can help but try not to be brittle
Systems and routines charts can help us get intentional and organised but if they are creating conflict and making you feel like you are failing let them fizzle out. Our children are not robots. Letting go of rigid schedules and focusing more on “Flow” can be much more soothing for everybody.
If you have followed me for a while you will know that 95% of the time reward charts lead to entitlement and power struggles so save yourself the hassle. Instead of a routine chart a very simple checklist will suffice.
Hi, I’m Emily Conscious Parenting Coach and founder of Finding Flow Parenting
I help parents who are stuck in reactivity and overwhelm to find more peace, ease and connection in family life. See my 1:1 Co-Parent and Group offerings
